Friday, December 31, 2010

a year in sentences...

JANUARY.. New Year Revelling..
first of all I had to put my New Years eve slippers on to go out and celebrate the coming of this New Year..

FEBRUARY.. the broken wing..
can you see the missing wing?

MARCH.. wash away my fears..
what a day. nothing happened

APRIL..Easter Thursday...
yet another simple day for me * a blackbird sat in the old apple tree and listened to me as I talked to it

MAY..the month of Mary....
May 1st, the month of Mary & my first full day at Villa Maria

JUNE..don't give up on me....
at the moment.. I am in quiet time

JULY..tempers run high, lost things, oh my ~ telling how it is in my life today. ..
they say that selling & moving house is one of the top things on the stress list.

AUGUST.. Farewell to Inglewood....
I was excited, at last, moving to Villa Maria! something i had dreamed of for weeks..

SEPTEMBER..a day out in the city...
my friend Peter, supports a charity called the Lantern Club

OCTOBER..every picture tells a story...
I thought I had better tell of our weekend away because before you know it, I will be off on a real walkabout to Uluru & Kata Tjuta

NOVEMBER...dinner under the stars..
the Sounds of Silence dinner, was more than I could even have imagined

DECEMBER...introducing Uncle Brian..a member of my family who I don't usually share with the world ...
I grew up with an Uncle who was 'simple'

well there you go.. a year of my blog.. another year.. going into my 6th of blogging.. who would have thought I would still be here?

I must say, reading back over my blogs.. I have had some very, very profound moments.. as I read my words.. I was thinking to myself: 'did I write this?', expecting at any moment to read someones name in recognition of words.. but no, they were my own.. WOW

what was your past year like?...the first sentence from the first post of each month ~ share with us..

[tomorrow, I will be back.. a new look, a New Year.. and one year older..]

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

more signs..

today on my early morning walk, I found a four leaf clover. I wasn't looking for one, but as I walked along the grass foot path, I glanced down and spotted this leaf..

[what does this mean?]

Villa Maria has been un-decorated after Christmas.. resting until the New Year.. thanks tons to each of you for your support and love shown to me.. will be popping by blogs during the next few days..I am so looking forward to 2011 - it is all good. I can say from my heart, that I treasure each of you xoxo

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

the post christmas blues - every body hurts... sometimes....

[my youngest grandson, Charlie - 15mths old]

everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes [R.E.M.]

I am sure there is a song about the emotional blues that are experienced after Christmas.. if not, then there should be. Am I the only one that came crashing down on the day after Christmas.. a day that is known as Boxing Day in Australia.

I had a big crash this year.. and it is still going on..

this is the first Christmas without my son here.. and my heart aches. I spoke to him on the phone but that is not the same..our family is changing..

Christmas morning breakfast was different. where I use to entertain up to 10 friends with a lovely civilized breakfast, this year people could not come.. some popping in for champagne and orange but didn't eat.. at 10.30am, Joe and I sat down to a cooked breakfast by ourselves.. [it is time to rethink for next Christmas]

I cried all day on the 26th.. and 27th I took to my bed. with a book. Dark Night of the Soul by Thomas Moore. a book that does help me through these times. but still the absolute loss, sadness, ache deep within my soul.

I usually fight it.. but this time, I am trying to go with it, to take heed of Thomas Moore's words. God seems far away - that is normal.. although I am told He/She is with me always. at times like this I feel all alone. candles are lit, oils burn in my oil burner. a rug is wrapped around me.

at times I feel guilty for being sad.. I have many blessings I know - but all my life I have shoved the sad feelings down, forced myself to smile a manic smile.. and now the sadness is is coming up.. through the centering prayer I am doing.. things are being brought to the surface to heal.. and I am grateful for that...
and like I said, my blessings are many.. a safe port in this storm:

my four grandsons: Jack, Thomas, Charlie & Harry

last night I had a dream... I dreamed that I picked up 5 gold coins... and a little while later I discovered that one had turned into a medal of Our Lady.. a gold medal of Our Lady.. what does that mean?

Friday, December 24, 2010

an Hello & A Christmas Blessing all rolled into one..

a blessing from Sister Jacinta Shailer who runs a Cosmology group once a month..

May the hope of this Sacred season settle in your soul. May it be a foundation of courage for you when times of distress occupy your inner land.

May the wonder and awe that fills the eyes of children, be awakened within you.

May it lead you to renewed awareness and appreciation of whatever you to easily take for granted

May the bonds of love for one another be strengthened, as you gather with your family and friends around the table of festivity and nourishment

May the coming year be one of good health for you. May you have energy and vitality. May you care for your body, mind and spirit.

May you daily open the gift of life and be grateful for the hidden treasures it contains

May you go often to the Bethlehem of your heart and visit the One who offers you peace. May you bring this peace into our world.

I have been absent from blogging.. not sure why - but a contemplative time for me at the moment.. a time of facing things and dealing with them... i miss blogging & I miss my blogging visits and friends.. I will be back after Christmas and will pick up where I left off.. and come visiting you too

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Christmas has come to Villa Maria Blog, ooh and a little road trip..

in celebration of the Season.. a new look, but for a short time only

today we travel down to Victoria, on the bike to attend a Harley Davidson owners group rally... staying in what is called the 'High Country' of Victoria, the snowfields.. where it snows in winter.. Joe & I are staying in a gorgeous French-style chalet: ANDRES ~ but after last night, I have a fear in my soul of getting on the bike.. Mum carried on a little when we said goodbye - crying that she doesn't know what she will do if something happens to us while away...the fear-mongering of my childhood coming back to haunt me. all night I tossed and turned.. and truthfully, I am dreading getting onto the bike..this is where my faith in what will be, will be comes into the fore... keep me in your thoughts, surround me with Angels.. I feel sick.

oh and before I go.. I discovered a gorgeous blog through my friend AnnieElf... a Virgin a Day... I was going to join in her gorgeous task.. but while I am away here is my offering:

[Australia's 2010 Christmas stamp]

Sunday, December 5, 2010

introducing Uncle Brian..a member of my family who I don't usually share with the world

I grew up with an Uncle who was 'simple' - well, that is what it was called back then... other names followed: mentally retarded, slow, mentally handicapped. we as children, just accepted him as he was.. growing up, sometimes friends made fun of him.. fear of the unknown I guess...but sad, all the same. I always defended him.. I didn't see him as any different. he was just Uncle Brian. when he was a teenager, he ran away to join the circus.

Uncle Brian is now 72 and lives in a nursing home, where he is safe and looked after. 'clean and fed' as my mums says...My mum had to put him there when my Pa died and no-one could look after him.. she still has guilt pangs about that decision, but it was really the only thing we could do...he has been there for 12 years now I think.. I don't get to see him much. He is like an 8yr old boy in an old man's body. as a child, it was like having a friend to play with when we went to visit Nana...

yesterday, I went to his Christmas party with my mum ~ Santa came and there was lots of party food..

.. their reunion was moving to say the least

they both had tears in their eyes as they hugged each other

they hadn't seen each other for a year

he still thinks I am a little girl - he told me that 'I was marked for life' when he saw my tattoos.. he also told me I was putting weight on... he is a sweetie.. very positive about life and comes out with the most amazing cliches when speaking of life..

I truly am blessed that he is part of my life. thankyou God.

what has been happening at Villa Maria?

the wreath is on the door..[the door will eventually be painted aubergine]

I also hung one on the front fence..

it has been raining.. like tropical rain. a sign of global warming perhaps?

the hydrangeas are absolutely brilliant. huge, huge flower heads - I guess that drastic pruning I gave them when we first bought Villa Maria, has paid off.

Joe has just about finished painting the rooms. the kitchen splashbacks are tiled. lovely big tiles in a pale blue with rust colour flecked through them. ..

thankyou, thankyou so much for all the words of wisdom in my previous post.. I anguish about revealing things like that - but I am so glad I did.
"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)