Saturday, July 2, 2011

I am a school girl dropout

last week was a whirlwind affair for me. I woke on Monday morning.. [as you know from my previous post] and that afternoon I was enrolled in college. previously I had enquired about weekend workshops about shamanic masks & art therapy - the college called and offered me a place in a two year part time Diploma of Art Therapy. I had all manner of excuses why I couldn't do it.. but they dissolved, I signed the papers and proceeded to write a 600 word essay about myself.
Day one dawned yesterday, my bag packed and excitement hitting overflowing point, I drove the hour to the college.
we sat in circle, introduced ourselves and proceeded to discuss 'consciousness' - that is when I realised that this course was not for me. their 'ethos' did not match alot of mine... that is when I realised that I am totally and 100% committed to healing Earth. that is when it was mentioned or referred to that we are separate from Earth. huh ???? and Angels were passed off as airy-fairy... that is when I realised that I want to meditate and do stuff like yoga - just for me. to bring my vibrational level into the same as Gaia. that is when I realized that we are in a special time & we need to be ONE.

the day went on and I became overburdened with information til my head felt like it was splitting in two. then I had to face over an hours drive home in full peak hour traffic.
tears spilled as I drove the roads back home. just wanting to be in my safe little home of Villa Maria...
so here I am.. a school girl dropout at age 53. and damn happy about that too!

fun, tattered jeans and peace is all I want from life.. is that too little to ask?


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Well, your one day of classes helped to clarify what it is you DO and DO NOT want, and what IS and IS NOT important to you. So I would say your college career was a roaring success!

mxtodis123 said...

Nothing wrong with backing off when you feel uncomfortable with something. Hoping that you didn't lose any money on it though.

Vintage said...

The main thing is that did a brave thing and tried something new and a even braver thing said nope this isn't for me.

You Rock!

Shirley x

amelia said...

It's not too much to ask but it's something we all rarely get...

Janet said...

You tried something new and found out it wasn't for you. Nothing wrong with that. Just be happy that you realized it before you invested a lot of time into it. I applaud you!

rebecca said...

i love how this day had you desiring the safety of villa maria. ahhhhh a perfect realization on so many levels!

i love you girl!

Pam said...

'Scuse the long comment Robyn, but I've given your post quite a bit of thought!
You'd think angels would figure prominently in art therapy - feeling the presence of, or even abscence of a higher power. - grief, love, joy, the big events of life. It seems art therapy, by its very nature, would not be dismissive or "pass off" anything!!
A good teacher can make or break a course and to have to discuss consciousness on an introductory session is a bit mind-boggling to me. I would have to answer "Far greater minds than mine have tried to define it and had difficulty!"
I do like the thoughts of Rainer Maria Rilke who says...
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you, because you would not be able to live them, And the point is to live everything. Live the questions."
Have fun living the questions Robyn. I would have kept my respect of art therapy intact, but high-tailed in out of there too!!xxx

Cheryl@Gingerbread Crafts said...

I don't know why I did this, but I held my breath as I was reading your post and then let it out as a sigh right at the end.

I am glad that it only took you a few hours to realise this wasn't for you. It reminded me of my experience when starting a new job last year - the first day was ok, the second misgivings set in, the third I definitely knew it wasn't for me and gave it to the angels to transmute - on the fourth day I got another job offer and didn't go back on the fifth day. I could not see myself happy at getting people who could least afford it into debt.

Don't you just love it (s) when your beliefs are passed off as airy-fairy, I was once told that my "obsession" with Angels meant I was obssessed with death. This was from someone who after noting he could not control my thoughts and have me worship the ground he walked on, announced he was everything from Archangel Michael to Jesus, all while spouting the most negative, hate filled rantings I have ever had the misfortune to hear.

I say Yay for we who are learning who we are and not letting anyone take it away from us.

Peace and love will be ours.

gemma said...

You are blessed, if you take giant steps or baby steps you have home and hearth to welcome you at the end of the day.

Kathryn said...

I love you and your realness! Carry on the journey. It's not the getting there finally that this is all about but the going there as best you can. Blessings, Sr.K

Cheryl@Gingerbread Crafts said...

Love the new look, Robyn.

foxysue said...

Oh Robyn! You had me going then in two different directions getting my head all in a whiz! 1) I've always wanted to do art therapy and as usual not reading properly I felt a little envious of you getting all excited for your course then 2) reading properly and thoroughly agreeing with you that 'dropping out 'was the only way!

I am 'one' with you my sister yogini & bloggini

Sue x

rebecca said...

dear one little robin,
i LOVE your new LOOK!!!!!


Imogen said...

I second and third these comments; good for you for signing up and trying, for being open to learn; and good for you for knowing yourself well enough, and trusting yourself well enough, to know what is wrong for you. Power and strength to you, iss robyn!

laoi gaul~williams said...

oh robyn i just love your new blog-look, its just so perfect for you.
and the outfit you are wearing in the photo reminds me of me!
such a perfect outfit :)

i was so excited at the thought of you tramping off to college but at the same time went with your instinct, knowing it is not for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Robyn,
have you ever thought about the course to become a Druid. The first grade, bard, is all about exploring yourself, the elements, stories and expression in all kinds of ways. The second grade is all about healing, trees and plants and working with ogham etc. The third grade, druid, is all about all these things and being able to perform all kinds of rituals for people, like name ceremonies, wedding and passing over rituals. You can stop anytime you want and only study for bard or ovate.
It is just a suggestion, looking at the things you find very important. There is lots of space for meditating during the course too, you get all kinds of suggestions for different kind of meditations. The OBOD has world wide written courses, so that might be nice for you ??? If you want to know more, you know where to find me ; )
Have a great day and I love the looks of your blog !!

james said...

JULIE Said: The course sounded "commercial" rather than spiritual and spirituality is where you are coming from. Follow your own feelings. BTW, I like the new look of your blog, too.

james said...

JULIE Said, Have you considered looking into spiritual art such as Australian Aboriginal sand art, Tibetan sand art or Navajo sand painting (place where the gods come and go)?

"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)