Imbolc and a new beginning

the end of winter and beginning of early spring. I have felt so disconnected to the seasons for the past year and it took me all my strength to dig deep to find some kind of desire to be with Mother Nature as the wheel turned once again.

trying to go beyond the noises of suburbia - the cars, mowers & other modern tools of trade, the general noise of a busy commuting community. trying not to feel annoyance that no one else seems to care anymore about the natural world. am I being judgemental in this? not sure, but that is the way I am feeling as I try to grasp my way back.

snowdrops are up - a true sign of approaching springtime. I can hear and feel movement among the branches in the reserve behind. the birds busy with thinking about nest building.. choosing a home among the branches. a perfect site for them to bring up a new family. my heart aches when I realize how much my family has changed over the past year - I feel myself forcing me back to the present, telling myself that this is also part of the wheel.. the wheel of life. I know that I will get through this.

springtime dew on the plants each morning. sometimes I pick parsley or endive still wet with dew - and drop the leaves into the pots or plates without washing - allowing this chi energy, to become part of my self. the whole concept is so deep. every mouthful of food I take into my body, becomes part of me. every single thing that has happened to the plant or animal during its own life, becomes part of me. the struggle to survive, the nutrients and minerals from the soil, the wind, the rain, the sun and yes, the fear of animals slaughtered or kept in inhumane ways. makes me think even deeper about how I eat.

I feel stirrings within my soul - excitement that I won't be living here for much longer. excitement that the world goes on whatever happens in my own. Earth will still be there for me - to walk upon, to be with. I make promises in my journal to try to stand upon earth each day - barefoot. just me and Mother Earth.

I did a little gardening today - first time out in the garden in weeks. my body soaked up the early spring sun as I planted daisies, foxgloves and parsley. knowing I am moving, makes it so much easier to be here.


she could never go back and make some of the details pretty.
All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful
Terri St.Cloud