Sunday, September 26, 2010

another memory for Villa Maria

On Children Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

today, Joe & I took our daughter Sophie to the airport. for the much planned trip to Holland. only a week. 7 days. she is taking part in an advanced colouring course for hairdressing and doing a teeny bit of sightseeing.
I am excited for her

we came home & I went to bed. 3pm. I felt lost, bereft, empty. I cried. I walked past her room & I noticed on her bed, that she had left her long time companion Ted.. telling myself it is only 7 days for heavens sakes...

this afternoon, Joe & I sat on the lounge, together. me trying to keep it together. and I just said 'I feel so alone & empty.' and he looked at me and said 'so do i'.....
i let me tears fall

how do other mothers deal with this life change? when the babies spread their wings and fly. I always thought I would be ok with this.. always looking forward to the empty nest. dont' get me wrong. I love my life - but these emotions have come as quite a shock to me.
what did my ancestral grandmothers do, in times like this. when their soul felt empty.. what did they do?


mxtodis123 said...

It is hard in the beginning, but you do get used to it...and in time, as much as I love my boys, I grew to like the idea of having the house to myself and hubby. Now, my eldest has been back home for awhile and has become such a help to me, I don't want to see him go...but I know, the time will come when he once again spreads his wings and begins the journey through his own life path.

Janet said...

As you said, it's only for a week and then she will be back. I love the last part of Gibran's poem:
"Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."

You are that stable be there when Sophie returns.

In the meantime, do something fun....just you and Joe. Enjoy the time and it will pass faster.

Fire Byrd said...

Wonderful and timely words for many of us I think.
Much as I love my sons I also now love it when they are not here.
Just gotta get my youngest a bit more settled and then I can get on with my self!
You have a beautiful daughter BTW, takes after her Mum!

laoi gaul~williams /I\ said...

i have no experience of this and can offer only a *hug* and support and echo janet~go to one of your funky coffee shops and have some fun!

amelia said...

In the times of our ancestors, people didn't travel quite as much and mostly stayed close for their life.

I know how you feel and sympathise. I feel this way every time my son leaves the country for work...

gemma said...

It is hard. You never stop being a parent yet you have to back off and let them live and learn.I think our ancestors probably cried too.
Do some art. Art heals you know!

Pam said...

Beautiful Sophie - no wonder you miss her. Damn hard being the bow sometimes!!xxxx

judie said...

Just let her fly free Robyn. It's her time, just as you and Joe had yours. Be happy in the knowledge that you did a wonderful job of teaching her about life, and that you will all visit often when she does leave for good. Cleave to your soul mate, and feel the pride.

Serena said...


"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)