stumbling: to discover or meet with accidentally or unexpectedly

you see
I wish to stumble upon my inner wise woman. to be really comfortable with my own self.. sometimes I am.. sometimes I'm not.. I stumble.. and if I fall.. I get up.. and stumble some more..
[not even sure if this is remotely considered stumbling towards ecstasy.. but when I looked up tonight and saw St. Rita.. I knew I had to put her here tonight..why? Patron Saint of impossible cases]
my son has gone home and I am sad.

the things you do on Australia Day..

1. first of all - Lamingtons are a must... sponge cakes cut into squares, dipped in melted chocolate icing then rolled in coconut.

2. you must wear funny hats and pull funny faces.. a few drinks always helps.. [daughter Louisa, mother of Harry & Charlie - and no, the tattoo is not real]

3. you must serve the obligatory lamb sausages and my signature sweet potato dish

4. you play with grandma and have your photo taken...

5. like I said, pull funny faces and act like a total fool..

6. you play with your great grandson [2 generations.. great Nan & great grandson]

7. you play and laugh with Dad [my son Caine with his boys Jack & Tom]

8. you wear Australian stuff.. mostly made in China. [yep, I'm a little Aussie - the littlest of our family - Charlie. He looks like a proud Australian! ]

9. you have photos taken and smile continuously [3 generations]

10. you bring friends to meet the family [the new girl in my son's life - Karen.. a lovely girl. she fits in well.]

11. you cook the above mentioned sausages in the heat.. [my son in law Garth - father of Harry and Charlie.. a lovely gentle man. ]

12. oh lord, did I really put this photo up? but yep... this is me with dutch husband [who, I might add is a naturalized Australian].. [photo played with and altered quite a bit, but we still don't look like Johnny Depp or Michelle Pfeiffer.. this is us in all our glory]

no words needed ~ JOY

[these are from our Australia day BBQ ~ Harry enjoying a TIM TAM.. I get joy out of his JOY! - it was funny to watch]...

another first at Villa Maria

happy Australia Day from Villa Maria !! [read about it here: Australia Day]

[photo of Harry and Me - taken last year]
running under sprinklers, dressed only in undies
ice blocks,dripping down my chin
sleeping under the stars
sunbaking on the beach, slathered in coconut oil..
hell, even wearing a Bikini!!
and while I don't do any of these now, for various reasons.. I still celebrate Australia Day.. today, a barbeque with my family.. my son is up from Victoria, healthy, happy and with a new girl.. a lovely country girl.. lots to tell and photos of our celebration, tomorrow!

oh the little red dress..

sorting things in my mind from my childhood..
healing the past or rather embracing the past
so it no longer haunts me....
so many memories coming up ~ healing memories..
the little red dress..


memories of me
dressed in the most divine red velvet dress,
just above the knee.
black patent shoes and white socks.
thinking I was a princess.
feeling special. loving myself.
how long ago was that? about 4 years of age..


then it went missing..
given away by my mother
to someone who needed it more than me.
my four year old heart was broken.


I have searched op shops & vintage clothing boutiques for my little red velvet dress..

but being inspired by a very good blogging friend and soul artist, I began to create the red dress in art.. Colette encouraged and helping me to stumble towards ecstasy.. towards my heart & soul being mended.


[a work in progress.. do I add to it or no? I will sit and look for awhile.. there is no hurry..]
and as I sit and ponder.. I will continue to stumble towards ecstasy

Haiku? I have no idea.

the other day, I grabbed my paintbrush.. and out came an Angel.. she was tucked away until today and I knew why she had appeared

holding me in hope

her white wings

protect me from fear
and this is not haiku - but the best I could come up with.

today - my cancer checkup

delight.. & happiness - all rolled into little bundles of JOY

joy: a source of happiness. keen pleasure or delight


I want to share with you.. a source of my joy.


a source of my delight, a source of keen pleasure and happiness..


I think that out of every single thing in the whole wide world.. these little boys. my youngest grandsons. Harry & Charlie.. bring me the most joy.. just even looking at them, I feel a surge of delight.. joy. joy. joy. in my heart.
You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762


 

ginger nut biscuits and other such things...

grateful for


my spiritual journey
ginger nut biscuits

the early morning rain bringing a coolness that you only experience in summer, the mists rolling in.. mists of the ancestors.. celtic sacredness

my gorgeous new [old] lounge suite

being able to meditate in my very own little room, where Angels hang out

these and more
bring contentment and harmony to my day.

what brings contentment and harmony into your day?

my first ever Ruby Tuesday

and why not? having some fun looking for Ruby in my life... kinda like looking through Rose coloured glasses !

RUBY [roo-bee] - deep red; carmine. Yes.. I think i can see RUBY in my gorgeous chandelier - this hangs above my dining table - sprinkling coloured sparkles on all who sit under it..

The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within -- strength, courage, dignity [Ruby Dee]

 

a summer's day

i thought i would take you on a wander through my garden.. always, for me, a stumble towards ecstasy.

sage: four of five leaves a day help with hot flushes. either in cooking or make an infusion.

oregano planted for pizzas and italian dishes

lemon balm or melissa ~ to calm the nerves, to help with body heat & also for melancholy. a cup of lemon balm tea after each meal helps with digestion

garlic was planted at winter solstice and harvested just now ~ hanging to dry and will be used all year round

dandelion for water retention.. and lemon thyme for moroccan dishes

basil ~ oh the delights of basil.. is there nothing more summery than the fragrance of freshly picked basil?
yesterday, I took a small basket of produce to a friend.. eggs, newly dug potatoes, tomatoes, garlic and capsicums.. & a sprig of lemon thyme ~ she is amazed at how well the garden is producing in such a short time.. but the hens are happy and you know how much work i put into the soil when i first moved in. worms are in abundance now at Villa Maria..

as I sat outside today - sipping on a glass of lemon balm water.. dragonflys flittered to and fro .. the garden is going wild at the moment with the abundant rain and heat..

the swamp gum ~ full of blossom at the moment.. and although small ~ full of honey

later in the afternoon, we set up a little table in our courtyard.. candles, a glass of wine and ordered home delivered pizza.. & sat outside under the moon ~

welsh onions grow sturdily along side mini capsicums.. sweet, sweet ~ perfect for pizza and salads
to top my day off I received an email from my friend thanking me for the gift from my garden: I’ve already made a hole in your precious produce. 4 little potatoes for dinner, sampled the ‘burst-in-the-mouth’ tomatoes and lemon thyme was chopped into the chickpea tagine...yum! Forever grateful for your wonderful sharing. Bless you Sweet Angel 0:-)

other little things I have enjoyed this week: a large jug of water flavoured with a sprig or two of mint. 3 large gardenias from a friends garden. a lovely head massage & playing with my grandsons.

and more ecstasy here: join in ! with Rebecca

so, just what is joy?

a deep feeling of contentment yes.. .. something that imbues the soul..


[ rusty gates, lanterns & other such glorious bits adorn my garden here at Villa Maria.... simple... and joyful to my soul..]

cleaning my kitchen bench this morning ~ looking out the window at the garden here at Villa Maria..a garden that is more like a jungle with the rain we have had the past weeks, a feeling of joy springs to my heart space

whenI see a blue bird alighting on a birdbath.. for a short moment, [knowing it is on safe ground away from prowling cats].... it's little tail going this way and that, then flits off into the orange tree... that is joy ~ for me and the little blue wren.. both connected through Nature.

[the whole eastern coast of Australia has been lashed with storms & torrential rain .. please keep in your hearts, the people of Queensland and northern NSW - who have faced flooding and destruction the past week ~ lives lost and thousands of homes swept from their foundations.. I cannot begin to imagine the fear of the people as this happened while they slept]..


 

inspired..

my Lady of the Brown Paper bag
[which i might add, I painted in just under 10mins]

simple & fun.

facing a fear & little rituals - helping me to stumble towards ecstasy

I grew up in a family of 'what ifs'.. and the what ifs were not positive.. they were mostly negative.. instilling the fear of life into me..

sometimes even now as an adult.. this fear creeps up on me like a shadow in the night.. lately it has been the fear of loss.. losing my darling dutch husband.. to death or some other such catastrophe .. my mind gallops away before I have a chance to harness it, going places that are really not rational at all and I feel this gut wrenching loss - deep in my solar plexus.. what will I do if he dies before me? leaving me adrift in a sea of loneliness..

the adult self knows these are only fantasies of the mind and actually are quite silly.. but inside there is a well of this fear.. I was not going to post about my fears.. but, surely I am not alone in this galloping of the mind into the future of what ifs?..

this fear makes up quite a big percentage of my dark nights of my soul

..then, something pulls me up.. bringing me back to the present moment. to being, In this body. encouraging me to nurture myself in my fear..

take a bath[I hear whispered in my soul] - a few petals scattered .. some essential oils to soothe the fear....

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
[Sylvia Plath]


light a candle - bringing light into my world


a cup of tea in a still moment - brings me back to the present moment of being un-hurried
are these little rituals,
my way of,
stumbling towards ecstasy?

other daily rituals that help: cool still water.. organic fresh fruit juice.. almonds..

do you have any little rituals that help you come back to who you are? that help you be in the present moment?

embracing those dark nights.. [sharing the JOY Thursday]

dark nights is sharing my JOY?.. yes, for me it is.. I think i have finally got to a place where I can actually accept that these times are part of me.. and that they are actually quite perfectly normal for many.. Thomas Moore and his 'Care of the Soul' has helped me understand this.

yesterday, I took myself out for lunch. THE book tucked under my arm, a pen and a note pad.. I ordered pumpkin soup [no salt please] and a chai latte on soy and I sat. by myself. and read... and as I read, I saw images in my mind that I knew i must journal.

after lunch.. I hurried home to get the images down onto paper..

[my journal page - not quite like i saw it in my mind.. but it never is.] The image at the top right hand corner was inspired by this: Paper bag painting.

[my journal title page..for 2011 - anything I put into my yearly journal has an uncanny knack of coming true. of manifesting. my very own wish book]
I could say that actually sitting down and creating my journal pages was full of JOY too.. it was.

I
slow down.
meditate.
pray. breathe slowly.
be in the present moment.

I am silent

and surely all of that is JOY?

...to the soul, the most minute details and the most ordinary activities, carried out with mindfullness and art, have an effect far beyond their apparent insignificance.
Quote from CARE OF THE SOUL...Thomas Moore